Sooo …. wouldn’t it be amazing to have a workplace (and home, for that matter) that really had no needless drama? I bring this up as our Friday Focus this week because for whatever reason (possibly because of the full moon tomorrow?) I have heard about or been in some way involved with more than the typical number of incidents essentially caused by drama of one sort or another. For any of you who know me at all, this is especially annoying to me …. I guess I am essentially a “No Drama Llama!”
Some of these incidents started with one person telling another person something “in confidence” and the “in confidence” part of that did not remain quite so confidential. Just as an aside and friendly reminder to all off you, when you say something to someone who works with you, whether or not they are an outside friend or even family, it is highly likely (maybe even 99.99999% likely) that whatever you have said will get back to the exact person or persons you would not want to hear what was originally said. Even worse, whatever you said usually is repeated in a different way (and usually worse way) than how you originally said it or intended it. That’s just a life lesson for you today : )
Some of these incidents had to do with someone overhearing something and not hearing the entire conversation or even sentence, so then interpreting whatever they heard much different than the original conversation (which was not intended for them to hear anyway).
Some of it had to do with someone projecting their own thoughts, feelings, or emotions onto the words that someone else said (which by the way were perfectly fine words in the first place.)
Some it had to do with very real issues that needed to be resolved. The drama part, however, was that the issues were already resolved and the people involved had settled the issues before someone decided they needed to be involved (which they didn’t) and the issue needed even more discussion and more drama.
Most of it had to do with people assuming bad intentions in one way or another – assuming something was wrong when it wasn’t, assuming someone else was intentionally being mean or petty or intentionally doing something wrong – rather than simply doing their own jobs and assuming good intentions from everyone else.
This annoys me why? Mainly because I’m busy (as are you) and I have no time for needless drama (and neither do you). It’s also because just one person causing some drama, tattling on someone else, finding fault in every little thing, judging other people or processes or communities …. just one person can turn everything upside down and result in countless hours of tracking down the truth and in some cases really harm workplace relationships.
AND …. as much as I hate to admit it, I’m sure I create drama at times as well …. either intentionally or unintentionally, but the result is still the same. AND … as much as you probably hate to admit it, I would wager that you have created drama at least a time or two yourself. We all do — it’s human nature and it’s easy to get caught up in the drama — in the stories.
I wonder what would happen if we could all focus, even if just for a week, on stopping the drama. On not responding to the drama, the gossip, the stories and instead just pausing and intentionally telling ourselves “Stop! I don’t know the whole story and probably never will.” Notice I didn’t say “Stop! I don’t know the whole story and need to find out.” Sometimes, my friends, we don’t actually need to find out anything. Sometime the easiest way to stop the drama is simply to stop — to not give it any time or attention. Drama is just as much like a plant as culture is …. if you don’t give it water — time and attention and repeating the drama — it will die, and unlike culture, we want the drama to die : )
My advice for you? Don’t get caught up in the drama and don’t feed the drama when it comes up with your team (which it will).